


Secret Spider-Santa

by Skyllion



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, High School Student Wade Wilson, Secret Santa, Slight OOC, Spideypool if you squint, Wade is 17, and things i wish from the comics exist in here like wade, i just realized that this might be slight ooc, peter is 16, takes place like a year after homecoming i guess, technically this takes place in my own version of mcu where things i don't like don't exist, there is exactly one (1) swear word in this whole fic and it's the f-word so fair warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:54:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27607271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyllion/pseuds/Skyllion
Summary: Peter Parker decides to sign up for Midtown School of Science and Technology's Secret Santa program, and to his surprise, he gets assigned to Wade Wilson, the weird kid who comes in late to homeroom everyday and only talks to Peter.  Too bad despite this, he knows nothing about Wade.  His identity would get spoiled if he suddenly showed interest, right?  Peter decides to get creative.
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Wade Wilson
Comments: 12
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the third time I have attempted to post this story. The first time it barely got traction and I wanted to redo it, which leads to the second time. The second one is still on here under the same title, but I had to delete my account and it's incomplete. I figured "third time's the charm, right?" So here we are! I'm shooting for weekly updates with the last update coming out on Christmas.
> 
> Shout out to my little sister who beta-read this for me despite not really liking Marvel

Peter Parker walked down the halls, vaguely paying attention to the usual school chaos around him. The weekend was almost upon him, and Peter couldn’t stress enough how eager he was for it. A few days ago, Tony had called him out of the blue and started asking about his patrols.

"You're sure you haven't seen anything out of the ordinary?" Tony had asked.

"Yeah, everything's been fine. Couple lost dogs returned, stopped a few bike thefts, got a tamale as a reward. Why?" Peter had replied.

“Nothing, just making sure everything’s good on your end.”

“Come on, Mr. Stark, you can tell me. I’m not a little kid anymore. I defeated the Vulture, remember?”

Tony sighed. “Fine. There’s been some… out of the ordinary deaths lately, and I was wondering if you'd seen anything."

“Strange deaths?”

“See, I didn’t want to worry you.”

“I’m not worried, tell me more.” Peter grabbed a notepad and poised his pen, ready to jot down anything Tony said.

“At first it seemed unconnected, just a bunch of random suicides, but I started looking into them. It doesn't seem like a coincidence. I’m going to be going on a stakeout. Just to be safe,” the millionaire quickly added on.

“I can help! You know I’ve been working on that stealth mode for my suit."

“The what now?” Peter could practically hear Tony raising his eyebrow through the phone.

“I told you about it like, two weeks ago! Please, Mr. Stark? I swear I won’t engage with any bad guys if we run into them. In fact, I’ll go home if you need me to. Please let me help you, Mr. Stark. Please, please, pretty please!"

Tony stifled a laugh. “Alright kid, you got me with the theatrics. You have to keep that promise though; I don’t need another incident like you and Vulture last year, and I don’t need your aunt killing me if you get hurt.”

“I won’t let you down!”

Peter smiled at the memory and continued to fantasize about the investigation. Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man could only stop so many corner store thieves before getting tired of the same routine.

“Peter!”

Peter fully snapped out of his daydreaming and turned around to see Ned waving at the end of the hallway.

“Dude! I’ve been calling your name for like, three minutes!” Ned cried, making his way over.

“Hey, Ned! Good to see you! Sorry, I was just lost in my thoughts,” Peter explained, looking down sheepishly as his best friend ran to catch up with him.

“No kidding. You okay?” Ned asked, falling into step with Peter.

“Yeah, I’m good. What’s crackalackin’?”

“Not much. Hey, did you register for the Secret Santa Exchange?”

“The what?”

“Secret Santa Exchange. They’ve been talking about it all week on the school news- Oh hey, they’re talking about it now.”

Peter looked up at the TV Ned was pointing at and was assaulted with crudely photoshopped stock photos and clipart of wrapped presents flying across the screen.

“Today is the last day to register for this years’ Secret Santa Exchange,” Jason’s monotone voice droned. “Get into the spirit of the season by giving a gift to one of your fellow students, and you’ll also get a gift from someone else. If you’d like to participate, fill out a registration packet and turn it into your homeroom teacher during homeroom or into the office by 3 PM today.”

The screen cut back to the two student reporters. Peter tuned them out as Jason began making lame jokes about being Betty’s Secret Santa and turned back to Ned.

“I’m guessing by your reaction you haven’t,” Ned remarked.

“I didn’t even realize they were doing it this year after last years’ Inappropriate Coupons Incident,” Peter explained. “Are you doing it?”

“Dude, I get a free gift. Of course I am!” Ned exclaimed just as MJ came from around the corner.

“You’re what?” MJ asked.

“He’s participating in the Secret Santa thing,” Peter explained to her. “Are you going to?”

“Peter, why would I participate in Extreme Capitalism the Holiday?” MJ replied.

“Hmm… Maybe because-” Ned started.

MJ rolled her eyes in reply. “It’s a rhetorical question, Ned.”

“Come on, we need to get to homeroom,” Peter cut in before the conversation could continue. “We’re gonna be late.”

“Oh crap! You’re right, Peter,” Ned remarked as he checked the time. “We’ll see you at lunch, MJ.”

She nodded before walking off. “See you nerds later.”

The duo had barely made it into the noisy classroom when the bell rang. Peter and Ned silently sunk into the few seats left, hoping the teacher hadn’t noticed their late arrival. The teacher, a surly man who definitely looked like he didn’t want to be here, waited a few more minutes until everyone had quieted down before he opened his mouth.

“Good morning, everyone. I’m supposed to give these Secret Santa packets to anyone who wants to register last minute, and then you’re free-”

The teacher was interrupted by the sound of the classroom door slamming open. Everyone’s attention shifted towards the source of the interruption.

“Oh boy, this ought to be good,” Ned murmured to Peter. Peter hummed in agreement.

“Mr. Wilson. Is there a reason you’re late and felt the need to cause a disruption  _ again _ ?” The teacher asked sharply.

The offending student looked up, the hood on his head shadowing most of his face. “Dramatic entrance, of course,” he responded without missing a beat.

The teacher sighed. “Sit down so I can continue with what I was saying.”

The student came into class and slid into the only empty seat left.

“Hey, Petey,” he greeted, the hood still shadowing his face.

“Hi, Wade,” Peter hissed out the side of his mouth, subtly scooching his seat towards Ned. To be honest, Peter didn’t really like Wade. Something about the seventeen year old unnerved him enough that his Spidey-Sense went off. Not enough to mark Wade as an immediate danger, but enough that he was cautious around him. It probably had to with the fact that Wade was strangely chummy towards him but ignored everyone else. It seemed...fake.

The sound of the teacher clearing his throat snapped Peter’s attention back to the front of the room. “Anyways, you’re all free to work or talk  _ quietly _ after you get a Secret Santa registration packet, if you want one. I’ll just leave them here.” The teacher dropped the packets on the desk. “Alright, I’m done talking now.”

Everyone either went back to talking to their friends or playing on their phone. Peter hesitated before going up to grab a packet. He walked back to his desk quickly and began filling it out.

“Whatcha got there, Pete?” Wade asked, leaning over to look.

Peter shifted so that his shoulder was blocking Wade’s view. “If you’d been listening, you would know.”

“But Petey, when have I ever listened or paid attention to anyone? I mean, except you, of course,” Wade responded in a teasing tone.

Peter ignored him and turned to Ned. “I’m having trouble narrowing down my interests to 4-5 things. Any suggestions?”

Ned didn’t miss a beat as he answered. “Legos, Star Wars, science, and the Avengers.”

Peter nodded and copied Ned’s suggestions down. “Thanks, Ned.”

“Oh, you’re participating in Secret Santa, huh?” Wade piped up.

Peter and Ned quickly exchanged glances.

“Yeah, we both are,” Ned answered, sensing his best friend’s discomfort. “Why? Are you going to?”

Wade stayed silent for a few seconds. “Maybe.”

Without another word, he took his phone out and began playing on it. Peter waited a few more moments until he realized Wade wasn’t going to say anything else. Letting out a quiet sigh of relief, he quickly finished filling out the packet. When the bell rang, he picked all of his stuff up, placed the packet on the teacher’s desk, and started for the door with Ned.

“Have a good weekend, Petey,” Wade called as the duo left.

“You too,” Peter responded robotically. When he was sure Wade was out of earshot, he shook his head. “We need to make sure we’re not late again.”

“Definitely,” his best friend agreed.

* * *

Peter stifled a yawn as he walked through the hallway with Ned. It was Monday, and the two had agreed to make it to school earlier to ensure they could sit in their normal spots. That wasn’t the reason Peter was tired though.

“Were you busy over the weekend?” Ned asked.

“Huh?” Peter responded sleepily, blinking at his best friend.

“You know,” Ned said, then proceeded to pantomime using webshooters while making appropriate but horrible sound effects.

“Oh,” Peter acknowledged. “Yeah.”

Peter and Mr. Stark had spent the entire weekend staking out; sometimes together, and sometimes it was only Peter, having snuck out without permission. Still, they both found nothing except for a few bugs on Peter's stealth mode.

“Dude, you need coffee. I’ll run to the nearest coffee shop while you go to homeroom and get our seats before Flash and his crew snake us and you’re stuck next to Wade again,” Ned ordered.

“Ned, no. I’m fine,” Peter insisted. “Besides, caffeine doesn’t work on me anymore.”

“No, you need coffee. I’ll get the biggest size I can. Don’t let anyone take the seats!” Ned cried as he ran off.

Peter blinked slowly and walked into the classroom. No one had arrived yet except for one other student, so he sat in the front and set his bag down on the desk for Ned.

Ten minutes later, the bell rang, signaling the start of school. Ned slipped in and handed a 16 oz. latte to Peter.

“Thanks,” Peter stage-whispered as Ned set Peter’s bag down.

“No problem, dude,” Ned responded, smiling back.

“Alright, everyone’s Secret Santa has been assigned,” the teacher started reciting off of a sheet of paper. “Most likely, your Secret Santa is in this classroom, so I don’t want you to be showing each other who you got. A few might not have your Secret Santa in here, but I still don’t want you to be showing each other who you got. It’s a Secret Santa for a reason. If your Santa isn’t in here, your gift will be delivered somehow.

“When I call your name, please come up to get your envelope. It contains the name of who you’re supposed to get a gift for and their wishlist/interests they wrote down in the packet. Got it?”

The class nodded in unison. Peter noticed that behind the teacher, Wade was slinking into class quietly. At this, he raised an eyebrow; normally everyone was subjected to the dramatic entrance put on by Wade. The teacher still noticed and only glared at Wade.

Wade stared back in response before walking to the back of the classroom and flopping into his chair. The teacher seemed confused too but just continued calling out names. Peter tried to focus on listening for his name, but his eyelids kept sinking down. Farther and farther…

“Peter? Peter Parker? Is Peter Parker here?” The teacher called.

Ned gently nudged Peter, waking him up with a start. The class laughed as Peter bolted up and ran to the front of the classroom with burning red cheeks. Peter snatched the envelope and ran back to his seat. He took the opportunity to continue napping as the teacher called everyone elses’ name.

When all the envelopes had been given out, the teacher sat back down. “You may open your envelopes now, but do so discreetly. You don’t know who could be the one you’re supposed to gift.”

The majority of class opened their envelopes. Ned nudged Peter again. Peter bolted up, nearly jumping.

“Peter, it’s just me. You can open your envelope now,” Ned whispered.

Peter grumbled in protest, wiping away the sleep in his eyes before proceeding to open up the envelope. Upon seeing the name of who he was supposed to gift and their wishlist, he groaned.

“What is it?” Ned asked, concerned. “If it’s because you got me, don’t tell me. Otherwise, feel free to let me know.”

Peter discreetly slid the contents to Ned. “If I'm still dreaming, wake me up.”

“‘You are the Secret Santa of...Wade Wilson’?!” Ned stage-whispered.

“Shh! It gets worse,” Peter groaned.

“How?” Ned wondered, but then he read the wishlist portion. “‘I’m going to be a challenge for you’ winky face? Geez, how did that get accepted?”

“I bet the student council didn't even screen them,” Peter moaned, burying his head in his arms. “Not only am I stuck getting a gift for someone I don’t like, I don’t even know what to get.”

“It could be worse. You could have to get something for Flash,” Ned pointed out.

“At least I can just give him money and he’d be happy. No one knows  _ anything _ about Wade,” Peter countered.

“Hmm…” Ned thought out loud. “You could get him a gift card for Amazon.”

“I don’t know if he has an account.”

“Steam gift card?”

“What if he doesn’t like video games?”

“Who doesn’t like video games? Name one person.”

“PTA moms who think they make their kid violent.”

“Good point, but I don’t think Wade’s a PTA mom.”

“He could have one.”

Ned sighed and patted Peter’s back in sympathy. “We can ask MJ if she has any ideas.”

“Yeah,” Peter agreed in monotone.

The bell rang, and Ned gave the Secret Santa papers back to Peter. “I’ll see you and MJ at lunch.”

“See ya,” Peter yawned before packing up and walking out. He couldn’t even get out the door before he heard Wade calling after him.

“Hey, Petey!”

Peter groaned. “Hi, Wade.”

“How are you? I mean, besides not getting enough sleep. You know, that can kill you. It can also lead to weight gain, decreased creativity, and an increased likelihood of not encoding memories into your brain,” Wade rattled off.

“Good to know,” Peter tried to brush Wade off. “I’m glad to know you’re concerned with my health.”

“Of course. Who’d you get assigned to as their Secret Santa?”

Peters’ blood ran cold before Wade laughed.

“I’m joking. You can’t give out that information. Apparently, it’s more valuable than any US government secrets from the way everyone was talking about it.”

Peter swallowed. “Uh-huh. Wade, I have to get to class.”

“Oh, so do I. I just wanted to say hi,” Wade excused. “Bye~!”

Wade skipped off as Peter turned the other way and wandered down the hallway, dazed.

“Just make it until lunch,” he muttered. “Hopefully MJ has some ideas.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad people are liking this story so far!
> 
> I don't really have much to say except this is on the shorter side, so I'm sorry about that.

When lunchtime came around, Peter rushed to the lunchroom, quickly purchased his food, and ran over to his usual table. MJ and Ned had already arrived before him. MJ was hunched over and doodling in her notebook while Ned was recounting some funny story that had happened in gym class earlier.

“Hey, Peter,” she greeted, closing her notebook as Peter slid in across from her and next to Ned.

“Hi, MJ,” he replied. “So, I signed up for the Secret Santa thing, and you won’t believe who I got assigned.”

“Wade Wilson,” MJ interrupted.

“How did you-” Peter began to say, but MJ seemed to already know what Peter was going to say.

“Ned already told me,” MJ explained.

Peter glanced at Ned, receiving a simple shrug in response. Sighing, Peter turned his attention back to MJ as she went on.

“You sure got a tough one. I’ve seen him in detention ever since he started attending school a couple weeks ago, and no one can get anything out of him.”

“Yeah, he even said he’d be a challenge. Since you sometimes have good ideas, do you have any?” Peter asked, quickly taking a large bite of his first sandwich.

“Stalk him,” MJ deadpanned.

Peter nearly choked on his food. “Wha- no! Absolutely not! That’s just- I’m not a good stalker. And it’s just morally wrong.”

“You’ve followed people before,” Ned pointed out.

“You have?” MJ asked, raising an inquisitive eyebrow at Peter.

Peter shot a glare at Ned. “Yes, I have,” he answered, still facing Ned and putting a finger to his mouth.

Ned tilted his head in confusion, before his mouth shaped into an “O”. “Gotcha,” he mouthed, vigorously nodding and trying to shoot Peter a discrete thumbs up.

“But that was different,” Peter continued, turning his attention back to MJ.

MJ shrugged. “If it’s stalking, it’s stalking. All the same to me. Doesn’t matter the motive.”

“I mean, she kind of has a point,” Ned agreed.

“Do you have any ideas other than stalking?” Peter asked.

“Nope.”

He looked at Ned, who only shrugged. “Sorry, I gave you all of my ideas earlier.”

Peter sighed. “Looks like I won’t be doing my calculus homework after school.”

* * *

Peter waited in the library with Ned until his phone buzzed. Peter quickly reached into his pocket and read the notification.

“MJ says that detention is over, and Wade’s leaving now,” Peter informed Ned.

Ned nodded. “Let’s go then.”

The two hurriedly packed up and made their way to the front of the school as quickly as possible. They hid behind a trash can and watched the entrance. Eventually, Wade finally went outside and started heading downtown.

Peter and Ned followed persistently, making sure to keep a good distance as to not be noticed. After a few blocks, Wade made his way into a Starbucks. Peter started following, but Ned stopped him with an outstretched arm.

“Damn it!” Ned cried, looking at his phone. “I have to go home. Mom says she needs me home  _ now _ . Will you be okay without a partner?”

“I can handle it,” Peter reassured his friend.

Ned nodded sagely. “Of course you can. You're Peter Parker. Good luck.”

"Thanks, Ned!” Peter said, waving before trying his best to casually enter the Starbucks. Wade was sitting on the other side of the coffee shop, studying the wood grain in the table. Peter figured he was waiting for a drink. Maybe he could use that as an opportunity to figure out what Wade liked. Peter pulled his hoodie over his head and went over to the counter. He ordered the first thing he thought of and sat on the other side of the room.

“I have a latte for Patrick,” the barista eventually called. Peter didn’t move for a few seconds before remembering he had used a fake name and quickly walked over to grab his drink. Peter slowly sipped on it as he tried to figure out why Wade’s name hadn’t been called. Shouldn’t he have gotten something before Peter had?

Finally, someone in a trench coat walked in and sat across from Wade. Peter watched as the two briefly conversed before Wade nodded and accepted a business card from the other person.

Peter squinted at the card, trying to read the card as Wade passed him, but Peter only saw that it was for someone in the medical field. Unless Wade wanted to be a doctor, which was doubtful based on how he acted in school, Peter was pretty sure it didn’t contain useful information. But it did make him curious.

Peter waited a few moments before following the other kid out. Wade walked straight ahead, looking forward and not giving a moments’ attention to anyone who gawked at him.

_ ‘I hope he’s as focused as he looks,’ _ Peter thought, facing down with his eyes on Wade.  _ ‘That’d make my job a lot easier.’ _

Before Peter realized it, Wade turned down a side street. One look at the dirty streets, broken glass, and the bars on the window was enough to set off Peter’s Spidey Sense. Yeah, he wasn't gonna walk down there without any protection. Peter turned around and made his way back to Starbucks. Aunt May was at work and obviously couldn’t pick him up, and his getaway car had left. He had one option left.

"Hey, Happy," Peter greeted sheepishly. "Could you pick me up? I, uh, used up all my subway money."

* * *

Peter closed his bedroom door and started a FaceTime. "That was the biggest waste of time. I think I should've just gone home when you did."

“Didn't go so well?” Ned asked.

“No, it went swell,” Peter replied sarcastically. “I learned Wade has gone into the slums at least once, and that’s about it. And I got lectured by Happy, but that’s not really relevant.”

“There's not much you can buy based off of that," Ned echoed Peter's thoughts. “Are you going to try again?”

“No, I’m not,” Peter said, glancing at his closet. “But I think Spider-Man is.”

“What?”

“Think about it. If Wade spots Spider-Man- which he won’t since I recently finished designing a stealth mode- he’ll just think it’s Spider-Man looking for crime to stop. If he spots me, he’s going to think I’m some sort of crazy stalker.”

“Good point, good point. Counterpoint... what was it that you said your uncle always said? Something about power and responsibility?”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Didn’t you say there’s a possible murderer running around? And you’re going to follow your classmate instead of investigating?”

“Mr. Stark’s on top of that already. Also, what if that murderer goes after Wade? Then I’ll be there!”

Ned sighed. “I don’t think there’s anything I can say to stop you, so I guess you win.”

“I’m going to do it tonight. Then I’ll have the rest of the week to get him his stuff and then I can give it to him next week!”

“Cool, except do you know where he lives?”

Peter opened his mouth and then closed it. “Shit.”

“Hey, don’t worry. You’ll figure it out somehow,” Ned told him encouragingly.

Peter sat in silence for a bit before a light bulb went off in his head. “I got it. But you’ll need to help.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAA sorry! This chapter was supposed to come out last week on Friday, but then I left for vacation the day before and was so busy I didn't get the chance to post it then or yesterday. Please forgive me!

The following day, Ned and Peter arrived later than usual for homeroom. When they shuffled into the classroom, the teacher gave them a sideways glare.

“This is your one warning. Next time, it’s detention for both of you,” he threatened.

The duo nodded in sync and took the last two open chairs.

“You’re later than usual, Petey,” Wade noted as Peter sat down next to him.

“Well, uh…” Peter tried thinking of a reply as he kept his smile plastered on his face. Sweat dripped down the back of his neck.

“Your bad influence must be rubbing off on us!” Ned quickly saved the day, slapping Wade’s back in a friendly manner.

Wade smirked. “As Peter’s best friend, Ned, I’d be thinking you wouldn't want that. But hey, it makes things more interesting. Will Wade Wilson finally corrupt Peter Parker? Find out next time on Dragonball Z! Or I guess in the next chapter."

"Of our lives?" Ned finished.

"Sure, let's go with that."

While Wade kept talking, Peter looked at his phone and saw a text from Karen.

Karen: Tracker successfully installed. What is the name of the target?

He smiled as he typed out Wade’s name. He had a feeling that connecting his suit to his phone would come in handy, and that feeling had been right. Now he could get notifications on whatever he needed from the AI without getting weird stares from his classmates from talking to himself.

“Whatcha smiling about, Petey?” Wade asked, leaning over.

Peter turned his screen away. “Uh, nothing,” he lied.

Wade kept leaning over. Peter glared at him and moved his phone closer to his chest, not realizing that the new angle showed more of his screen.

“All I can see is that you’re texting someone named Karen. Who’s Karen? Do you have a girlfriend or something?” Wade teased.

“Uh, yeah,” Peter relaxed. “No one else but Ned knows though, and I, uh, want to keep it that way.”

“Yeah, Peter’s not supposed to be dating,” Ned piped up, giving an exaggerated wink to Peter.

Wade nodded. “Well, I’m not one to go around spilling people’s secrets. Good luck with your secret relationship, Petey.”

“Thanks,” Peter responded. “Look, I have to do some last minute homework, so I'd really appreciate it if you could let me do it. I don't mean that in a rude way! But like-"

“Say no more, Petey. I'll try not to talk to you. In fact, I’ll just annoy Ned instead,” Wade decided, turning towards the aforementioned boy.

Peter plugged his headphones in. Soft classical music provided a good blotter to the sound of Wade and Ned's chatter as he worked on his calculus homework.

Twenty minutes later, Peter had just finished when the bell rang, causing him to startle before quickly begin packing up his stuff.

“See ya tomorrow, Petey,” Wade said as he began to leave. “You too, Ned.”

“Bye, Wade!” Ned replied, waving enthusiastically. When Wade was out of earshot, he turned to Peter. “Dude, I don’t know why you don’t like him.”

“I already told you. He makes me feel uneasy,” Peter responded.

“He’s actually pretty cool! So, he told me that he’s here to get revenge on some bad guys who kidnapped and tortured him. His skin looks weird- that's why he always has a hoodie on, since people stare at him like he's a freak- because the bad guys did it to him, but in return he has some superpowers that he said he can’t show anyone because then they’ll know he’s after them. I can’t believe I know two superheroes!” Ned gushed.

“Ned, that's unbelievable. He probably just has some sort of skin condition or something,” Peter replied.

“Hey, you were bitten by an adioactive-ray pider-say,” Ned whispered.

“Still doubting it,” Peter insisted. “Did he say anything I could actually use to get a gift?”

“No, he refused to talk about himself besides the backstory he gave me.”

"That helps a ton. I can give him a sword or something to kill people," Peter muttered sarcastically.

"But I did notice that he has a tiny unicorn charm on his phone though," Ned continued.

Peter nearly stopped in his tracks. “Seriously? How come I never noticed that?”

“It’s brand new. It’s really small and has a rainbow horn and rainbow hair.”

“Alright, I guess I could get him a unicorn then.”

“There you go! Then you don't have to investigate tonight!"

“I think I still am. I mean, it doesn’t hurt to have a backup.”

“Alright then. Good luck!” Ned wished before walking to his Chemistry class.

“Thanks! See you later!" Peter called back before walking off to his English class.

* * *

The bright red letters read "10:30 PM" and illuminated Peter's entire face.

He groaned as he rolled over. He had to wait until Aunt May was asleep, and that wouldn't be for another fifteen minutes. Even though she knew Peter was Spider-Man, he wasn’t supposed to go out without giving her a couple days’ notice or getting an official notice from Mr. Stark. Since he hadn’t done either of those, he had to sneak out.

He had put his suit under his pajamas, and when he saw the light under his door finally turn off, he quickly removed them and tugged his mask on.

“Hello, Peter,” Karen greeted cheerfully.

“Hi, Karen. Hey, you know that tracker I installed earlier?” Peter said.

“The one named 'Wade Freaking Wilson'?” Karen clarified.

“Yeah, that one. You can just call him Wade. Anyways, can you start tracking him?” Peter requested.

“Of course.”

A small map of New York City appeared in the corner of his vision, showing a small, blinking dot where Wade supposedly was. Peter opened his window, jumped out, and let himself fall a bit before shooting a web at the top of a lamp post and swinging forward.

Eventually, he reached the area where Wade should be. It was close to the slums he had followed Wade out to the previous day.

“Why would he be out right now?” Peter mumbled as he perched on top of an apartment complex.

“You’re out right now, and you’re a year younger than him,” Karen pointed out.

“Yeah, but I’m Spider-Man. He’s an ordinary civilian and high school student. Anyone in their right mind would be inside right now. Don’t say it, Karen.”

“You’re outside.”

“I said not to say it, Karen.”

“Sorry, Peter. I’ll remember to not say ‘You’re outside’,” Karen replied sarcastically before pausing. “Wade is exiting the corner store across the street.”

Peter looked and saw that Karen was right. Wade was crossing the street while he carried a bag full of...well, something. 

“Alright. Good. He’s just grocery shopping. I think,” Peter added, hesitant to assume anything innocent about Wade’s activities before he started to walk alongside from the top of the roof. Peter accidentally kicked an empty beer bottle and froze as it skidded across the roof and fell over the side. The sound of glass shattering echoed in the night.

Peter could see Wade stop and start to turn around.

"Please don't look up, please don't look up," Peter chanted in his head. A few slow, aggravating seconds passed, and Peter let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding when Wade continued to walk past.

Peter followed, leaping gracefully and lightly from rooftop to rooftop.

“Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can,” he softly sang to himself.

“Peter, singing might not be a good idea when you’re following someone,” Karen advised.

Peter snapped his mouth shut. “Sorry,” he muttered, embarrassed.

“It’s okay. Your singing is very good. I just don’t want you to get caught when you don’t want to. Speaking of which, would you like me to engage Stealth Mode?” Karen offered.

“Oh, yeah. I should’ve done that first thing. Thanks, Karen,” Peter whispered. He looked down to see his suit blend in with his surroundings.

“No problem. Why are you stalking your classmate anyway? You did mention that he was out when there’s that murderer loose in this area. Are you concerned for his safety?”

Peter hesitated to answer as he judged the distance between the building he was standing on and the stoplight. He leaped and perched perfectly on the stoplight. “I wish my actions were that noble. Let’s pretend that’s why."

Silence.

"Okay, the real reason is that I have to get him a Secret Santa gift, and I don’t know what to get him. I’m trying to find out by following.”

“Why not just ask him?” Karen suggested.

“He’s one of the most mysterious kids in school; the only things that I know about him are that he was born in Canada, has weird scars all over his skin, transferred a couple weeks ago, possibly lives in the slums, and maybe likes unicorns. Besides, I don’t really like him and never want to talk to him."

“Really? Your constant interactions with him say otherwise.”

“He initiates it! Wait, how did you know that he talks to me almost every day?”

“Pay attention, Peter. Wade’s a few blocks away.”

“Crap!” Peter cursed as he jumped down. He ran and soon had Wade in his sights again. It seemed that Wade was on his way home. He quickly climbed up a building. “Sorry. Anyways, how did you-”

“Since I’m also connected to your phone, I’ve been recording what you’ve been doing at school, similar to how I record everything you do in the suit.”

“Oh. Well, regardless, I don’t like him. If I had been wearing this while around him, you’d know he sets off my Spidey-Sense.”

“Peter, you didn’t fix the bugs I pointed out last time, did you?”

“I dunno why he does. I doubt I will ever understand anything about him. Why does he talk to me? Why does he set off my Spidey-Sense? Why-"

"Peter!"

"Sorry. Uh, what was the question?"

"Did you fix all the bugs?"

"Yeah! The lag in camouflage, muting my footsteps and muting my voice- Wait, no! I forgot-”

“You forgot what?”

Peter looked to see Wade standing on the sidewalk below him. “Uh, hi, ordinary civilian.”

“Hello, Spider-Man. Why do I keep your hearing your voice behind me?” Wade asked, looking in Peter's general direction.

“Uh…” Peter trailed off. “Karen, why does he know where I am?”

“It seems that the bug affecting you doesn’t mute any of your speech, and Wade was able to hear you talking to me,” Karen deduced.

“Extra crap,” Peter muttered.

“Where are you? I mean, I know you’re somewhere up on the ceiling, but I can’t see you,” Wade confirmed.

“Karen, turn off Stealth Mode,” Peter instructed.

Wade gasped as Peter came into view. “Spider-Man!"

"Uh, hi," Peter awkwardly waved. "Nice night for a stroll, huh?"

"Why are you following me? I could hear you talking to someone named ‘Karen’. You know, I have a friend who has a girlfriend named Karen, and if that’s the same Karen, you should dump her and tell her to stop cheating on him.”

“He thinks of you as a friend,” Karen noted.

“No, definitely different Karen! There’s like, billions of Karens’ in the world,” Peter replied, forcing out a laugh while ignoring the AI.

“Hm, true. However, you still haven’t answered my question,” Wade crossed his arms. “Why are you following me? Doesn’t Spidey have better things to do?”

“I, uh-” Peter froze up.

"I'm waiting."

“Tell him the truth,” Karen suggested. “Without revealing your identity, of course.”

"You have five seconds. Five...four...three…" Wade paused. "What? The ominous countdown doesn't freak you out?"

“I know a guy who wants to buy you a gift, but he doesn’t know what to get you,” Peter blurted.

Wade's eyes widened before quickly replacing his shock with a smirk. “Why doesn't he just ask me?”

“Um-”

“Ooooh, I get it. He’s too shy to. I’d rather know the identity of my secret admirer now, but I guess I can wait,” Wade teased.

“No, he doesn’t have a crush on you!” Peter quickly said. Smooth, Parker. Real smooth.

Wade laughed. “I was pretty sure that was the case, but a guy can dream, right? I mean, how can someone resist a face like this?” He pointed at his face while saying the last sentence, then shook his head.

Peter awkwardly laughed. “I’m sure you’ll find someone someday.”

“Thanks, Spider-Man. You’re probably the nicest person on the planet. Anyway, what does someone wanting to buy me a gift have to do with my Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man following me?”

“Um, we- as in the guy and me, not you and me- are really good buddies and I offered to find out for him. He just needs to know a few things you’re interested in. Just to get an idea.”

“Still doesn’t explain why you were following me.”

“To be honest, I was scared to ask you upfront.”

Wade chuckled. “Am I really that intimidating to everyone?”

Before Peter could answer, Wade kept talking. “Alright, since you’re the nicest person and my favorite superhero, I’ll let you in on the secret life of Wade Wilson.”

“You’re his favorite superhero,” Karen gushed.

“Karen, stop,” Peter muttered. To Wade, he waved his hand in a “continue” motion.

“Let’s see… three of my favorite things… Mexican food, plushies, and video games,” Wade listed. “Hope that helps your friend.”

“It does. Thank you. You should probably get inside. You know, there’s been quite a few murders in the past few weeks,” Peter explained.

Wade smiled. “I’m glad you’re concerned, but trust me, Spidey. No killer would be able to take me on. If they tried, they’d quickly regret it.”

Peter chuckled. “Just go, alright? I’m sure there are more people besides me concerned for your safety. Here, I'll even accompany you back."

"There's really no need-" Wade started, but Peter had already jumped down.

"Just doing my duty as your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!”

“My place is literally across the street.” Wade gestured to the apartment building

“Oh.” Peter felt his face grow hot, but Wade laughed a bit.

“If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll let you escort me there,” Wade offered, holding his free arm out.

Peter laughed and hooked his arm with Wade’s. “Let’s go, small child.”

“Excuse you, I’m taller than you, and I’m almost eighteen. I just have a couple more months. Hey, is that why this guy needs a gift?”

“Maybe.”

“Cool.” Once the two had made it to the entrance of Wade’s apartment building, Peter unhooked his arm from Wade’s.

Wade dug through the bag he held in his other hand. “Do you like M&M’s?”

“There’s no need-” Peter started, but Wade tossed him a package of the candy anyway.

“Hey, you escorted me across the street for no reason. Gotta repay the favor somehow,” Wade winked.

“Uh, thank you,” Peter said, smiling under his mask.

"No problem. Have a good night,” Wade waved before walking inside.

“Night!” Peter called as he swung off into the night.

“What a weird kid,” Peter muttered to himself. “But I guess he’s not too bad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay everyone, here's the plan. I'm going to post Chapter 4 on Tuesday and then the final chapter on Christmas Day, which was my original plan. I'm returning home today so vacation won't get in the way of it. :) I hope you all have a great day!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in the tags, you might notice that it says there's one swear word in the fic. This is the chapter with it. It's just the f-bomb. Fair warning in case anyone was like, reading this to their child or something

A couple weeks had passed since that encounter, and now Peter sat anxiously in homeroom, staring at the tiny plastic tree dusted with fake snow. That damn box covered in shiny blue wrapping paper taunted him from across the room. The fluorescent lights twinkled, reflecting off of that one gift.

"Petey! Why so tense?"

Peter nearly jumped out of his chair as Wade slid in next to him. "I'm not tense!"

"Yeah you are."

“No, I’m not. Ned, tell him I’m not tense.”

"You’re tense," Ned said apologetically.

"See? Told you.” Wade crossed his arms.

“I'm just nervous," Peter admitted.

"Aw, why? Unload your problems on Dr. Wilson. It can't be because of school work since we get to escape after homeroom. Unless you stress about future projects. Do you stress about your future, Peter?"

"Not in this case. Look, it's dumb."

"Stressed over Secret Santa?" Wade guessed. "I'm sure you got a great gift."

"More like 'worried I got something that my assigned child won't like'," Peter responded.

"You did great, dude," Ned piped up. "Trust me."

"You told Ned about what you were giving for Secret Santa and not me?" Wade gasped, putting a hand over his heart in mock injury. "I've been betrayed."

"I walked in while he was wrapping," Ned quickly answered. "Wasn't involved otherwise."

The sound of the school bell buzzing followed by their teacher clearing his throat interrupted the trio's conversation.

“Uh, hold on while I straighten out my script." He shuffled through his papers. "'Hooray, it's the time most of you have been waiting for. It's time to receive your gifts. When I call your name, come up and grab your gift. You can then go back and unwrap it at your desk.' Alright, remember,  _ one at a time _ . Don’t stampede up here."

Peter waited until he heard his name and then went up and searched through until he found the package with his name on it. The gift was wrapped in brown, recycled wrapping paper with a fiber rope bow tied on top. He brought it back and fiddled with the bow as he kept an ear open for Wade’s name to be called.

“Wade Wilson,” the teacher announced.

Wade fast-walked and snatched the remaining present before turning to face the class.

“I’d like to thank whoever gave me this gift. I don’t know what you got me, but I’m sure you tried your best to find something. I congratulate you for that. You put in your best effort- no, your maximum effort-”

“That’s enough, Wade. You can go back to your desk now,” the teacher interrupted.

Wade quickly walked back, and Peter watched as he began to rip open the wrapping paper.

“Whoever wrapped did a very good job,” Wade remarked. "Minimal use of tape, sharp and concise folds… they must be a professional gift wrapper.”

“Perhaps so. It is really well done,” Peter agreed, silently thanking Aunt May for wrapping it for him; he would’ve just wrapped a bunch of tape around and hoped for the best.

He turned his attention back to his own gift and ripped the paper open to find a chemistry kit underneath.

Peter heard Wade gasp from next to him. “Oh my fuck…”

“Language,” Peter automatically reminded.

“Sorry, Cap,” Wade shot back. “But I can't believe I was right."

“Right about what?” Peter asked, trying to sound innocent.

“Don’t play dumb, Petey. You're the one who Spidey needed to know my interests for," Wade realized. “I wouldn't have thought he was friends- or at least acquaintances- with a high schooler."

“Uh, yeah. I have a Stark Internship, and I’ve run into him a few times before. We’re pretty close friends,” Peter said.

“I can’t believe I’m friends with a guy who’s friends with my favorite superhero!” Wade squealed.

Peter chuckled nervously. “So, you do like it?”

“What’s not to love about a $15 Taco Bell gift card and a unicorn plushie keychain?!” Wade exclaimed, lifting the items out of the small box. “How’d you figure out the unicorn part?”

"I noticed the tiny unicorn charm on your phone and told him,” Ned admitted slyly.

"I've been double crossed by you and Petey!" Wade gasped.

"Why haven't you opened your present?" Peter asked, gesturing to Ned's unopened package.

"I already know what's in it and who got it for me," Ned whispered.

"Tea," Peter and Wade demanded in unison.

"Flash was complaining awfully loudly about having to buy a gift for ‘Penis Parker’s friend’."

“Wow. That’s really immature of him,” Peter responded. “So what’s in it?”

“An Amazon gift card.”

“Oof. Use it to buy what you need to get revenge on him,” Wade suggested.

“Nah, I’ll probably just save it for a set I’ve had my eye on,” Ned replied.

“The Sandcrawler?” Peter guessed.

“Yup,” Ned confirmed, stuffing the small box into his backpack. “I’m really close to having enough. Once I get it, you should come over and help build it!”

“I’d love to!” Peter cried.

“What about you, Wade? Would you wanna come over?” Ned asked, looking around Peter.

Wade snapped out of his daze and shook his head. “Uh, no thanks. I have stuff to do. I mean, I probably will have stuff to do.”

“Oh. Alright," Ned drooped.

"Wait!" Wade started rummaging through his backpack and tossed a few candy bars at Ned and Peter. "Surprise!"

"Woah! Thanks, dude!" Ned cried, catching them as Peter fumbled.

"No problem! It's just to say thanks for putting up with me," Wade joked.

Ned was handing Peter a few bars when the bell rang.

The class stampeded towards the doorway, causing the teacher to start yelling. Ned had already started heading there when he turned around and saw Peter wasn't with him.

"I'll catch up!" Peter cried as the crowd forced Ned out. His friend gave a thumbs up in response, so he returned to packing his bag.

"Ahem," Wade cleared his throat.

Peter turned to look at him. "Yes?"

“Hey, so, I don’t think I can use this entire gift card by himself,” Wade awkwardly stated.

“You can make multiple trips,” Peter pointed out.

“I know, but I hate doing that, because I think I have enough money, but then it turns out I don’t and I end up embarrassing myself. I hate doing that, so I’m wondering if you’d be interested in using this with me,” Wade offered, glancing away from Peter.

Peter blinked once in surprise. “I’m sorry, but I think that’s the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard to ask someone out with.”

“Oof,” Wade replied, smiling. “I deserve that though. But do you want to get Taco Bell with me one day? Like, as friends? Obviously. Since you have a girlfriend and all. Not that I have a crush on you! Jesus fricking Christ, I’m digging myself a hole, aren’t I?”

“A little bit,” Peter agreed. “I know what you mean though.”

“But do you want to? It’s perfectly fine if you say no,” Wade added.

Peter hesitated for a moment. His spidey-sense was calm around Wade now. He’d probably just been overreacting. That seemed to be the most plausible explanation; Wade was just a student. Or maybe since he had been sitting with Wade almost every day leading up to now... maybe he just trusted Wade more.

“Why not? Sure, we can go. Does Saturday around noon work for you?” Peter asked.

“I’m free most of the time, so yes, it does work. I’ll make sure to try to remember,” Wade remarked.

Peter reached into his backpack and pulled out a spare sheet of paper. He quickly scribbled “Taco Bell with Peter on Saturday at 12” with his phone number underneath. “In case you forget,” he told Wade.

Wade smiled widely. “Thanks, Petey. I can’t wait.”

“No problem,” Peter smiled back.

"If you two want to stay locked up all winter break, that's fine with me. I don't know what the school will say though," the teacher deadpanned just as Peter's phone dinged.

"Of course! We're leaving now," Peter said quickly, grabbing his backpack and nearly running out. "Come on, Wade!"

As Wade followed him out, Peter checked his phone to see a text from Karen.

**Karen** : What did I say?

**Peter** : Yes, Karen, you were right. He’s cool.

“Texting Karen?” Wade guessed as he came up next to Peter.

“Yup,” Peter responded.

“Did you know Spidey knows someone else named Karen?” Wade asked.

“Yeah, he named his AI after Karen from Spongebob,” Peter explained.

Wade nodded. “I’m updating my stance on him now. He’s not only the nicest person on the planet, but one of the most intelligent and cultured, and therefore worthy of the title ‘best superhero in the existence of the world’.”

Peter was about to respond when he saw Ned leading MJ over.

"There you are, Ned! Hey, MJ!” Peter greeted, sprinting over to the duo.

“Hey, Peter. Did you like my gift?” MJ asked.

Peter raised his eyebrows. “Do you mean…?”

“Yeah, I decided to participate in Secret Santa. I know someone who works on the council, and they were able to guarantee that I’d be your Secret Santa. I didn’t feel like being the Grinch this year,” MJ joked.

“So your heart grew 3 sizes?” Wade interjected.

MJ examined Wade up and down. “Wade Wilson,” she greeted.

“Michelle Jones,” Wade replied.

“I prefer MJ,” she stated.

“Noted. I’ve seen you around in detention. Are you also a troublemaker?” Wade turned to Peter. “You sure do have a type, huh?"

“He does; he likes the weird ones,” MJ answered. “And no, I just go to detention because I like sketching everyone’s misery.”

“A very interesting hobby, MJ. I personally like collecting plushies, but yours is good too.”

“How’d you know I wanted a chemistry kit? I don’t think I ever mentioned it to you,” Peter changed the subject.

“No, but you told Ned,” MJ answered, smiling a rare smile.

“Can’t keep a secret to save my life,” Ned said sheepishly.

Peter laughed at the irony; Ned was one of two people outside of the Avengers to know his identity.

“Well, I have an engagement to get to, so I will be seeing you, Mr. Parker, on Saturday,” Wade said before giving Peter a hug.

Peter felt his face flush. “I’ll see you then, Wade.”

Wade let go and walked off, blowing a kiss at Peter, MJ, and Ned. When he was gone, MJ elbowed Peter.

“Hey! What was that for?!” Peter cried.

“He likes you,” MJ remarked, a hint of a smile showing.

“Why do people keep saying that?” Peter groaned. “We’re just friends.”

"Dude, we never said anything about romance," Ned pointed out.

"Whatever. When you say someone likes you, it’s implied that it’s romantic,” Peter argued.

“Mm, good point,” Ned conceded.

“Anyways, thank you for the kit, MJ. Have fun on your vacation. You’re going to Disney World, right?”

“Yup. I have to get home soon so I can go enjoy some manufactured happiness. Do you want anything?” MJ asked.

“A hat? Maybe some Mickey ears?”

“Any specific kind?”

“Whatever suits me.”

“Got it. I’ll get one of the Minnie Mouse headbands.”

“I said Mickey ears!”

“Alright, something else then.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Have a great break, Peter.”

Peter waved as MJ walked out. “You too!”

Peter ran to the bus stop and sat down as his phone pinged. He looked at it, expecting an update from Aunt May on what time she’d be returning home, but instead he had a text from an unknown number.

**Unknown Number** : is this the right number?

Peter frowned until another text came through.

**Unknown Number** : this is wade btw just checking to make sure this isnt a wrong number

**Peter** : Yeah, right number. Hi, Wade.

He quickly added it to his contacts.

**Wade** : hi peteyyyy

**Peter** : Have you heard of capitalization and grammar?

**Wade** : yeah but i choose not to use it wat r u gonna do 4 vacay??????

Peter groaned and did his best to ignore Wade’s attempts at annoying him.

**Peter** : I think I was going to go to Taco Bell with a certain someone.

It took a few seconds longer for Wade to text back.

**Wade** : i wonder who……

**Peter** : I wonder too.

**Wade** : oh we never chose a specific one to go to

**Peter** : I just assumed the one near school.

**Wade** : oh ok cool thx

**Peter** : No problem.

The bus pulled up and Peter got on. A few moments later, his phone buzzed. He checked the caller ID, which declared that Aunt May was trying to contact him.

“Hi Aunt May! I just got on the bus,” Peter said.

“Oh, perfect! I was just calling to let you know I ended up getting to leave early today and I’m already home. I didn’t want to scare you when you got back.”

“Heh heh, thanks. That’s awesome!”

“How was your day?”

“Great! I got a chemistry kit and I think I might have made a new friend.”

“A new friend, huh? Now you need to tell me all about them.”

“His name is Wade Wilson. He likes unicorns, plushies, and Taco Bell apparently.”

May hummed in response. “That’s all?”

“That’s all I know right now. Oh, and Spider-Man is his favorite superhero.”

“So you’re his favorite superhero?”

Peter thought about that for a second. “I guess. He just doesn’t know that though.”

“You should invite him over. That way I can embarrass you in front of him.”

“Aunt May!”

She laughed. “I’m joking, I’m joking.”

“But yeah, maybe I’ll invite him over some day. He’s kinda weird but pretty nice. Like MJ.” He glanced up to see that his stop was next. “Okay, I’m getting off now. I’ll see you soon.”

“Alright! See you in a few minutes!”

“Bye.” Peter ended the call and pulled the string. A few short moments later, he was on his way to his apartment building. As he arrived at the building, his phone pinged. He glanced at it and smiled at the message.

**Wade** : Hey, Peter? I just wanted to say thanks. It’s really nice of you to have said you wanted to hang out with me.

**Peter** : You capitalized and used an apostrophe. I’m proud.

The reply was immediate.

**Wade** : Seriously. Thank you. I’m using correct grammar to show you how serious I am.

**Peter** : Noted. I’ll see you on Saturday.

**Wade** : Yeah, see ya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a lil epilogue left, which will be published on Christmas Day! Thank you to everyone so far for their support!


	5. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeee last chapter! Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading. This chapter is really short but I just wanted to write about their outing together.

“Do you have your phone?” Tony asked as Peter climbed out of the car.

“Yup,” Peter confirmed.

“Your suit is under your clothes?”

Peter sighed. “We already went through this, Mr. Stark. I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t want you to end up getting caught in any trouble and not being able to defend yourself. Your Aunt would kill me.”

“I’m going out to eat with a friend.”

“You can never be to careful. Remember, there was another death this week-”

“Yes, I have it on. The mask is in my pocket.”

“Good. Now go have fun with your new friend,” Tony ordered, patting Peter’s shoulder before closing the car door. Peter watched as the car sped off. He turned around, walked into the Taco Bell, and quickly glanced around before he saw Wade sitting down with an assortment of food spread all over the table.

“Hey!” Wade cried as Peter went over to him. “I already ordered. I didn’t know what you liked, but I got a couple different tacos, quesadillas, a thing of nachos…”

“Those are all fine,” Peter assured Wade, sitting down and grabbing a chicken quesadilla. He studied Wade. “I like your jean jacket. It’s really unique.”

“Thanks! I got all of the patches myself. I like personalizing stuff. Doesn’t explain the confused look though,” Wade remarked, taking a giant bite out of his burrito.

“What’s that patch right there? I’ve seen it before, but I don’t think I know what it means,” Peter explained.

“Petey, that’s called a unicorn,” Wade replied in a deadpan tone. “You bought me a keychain of one earlier this week.”

“No, the one next to it. The flag,” Peter clarified, pointing to the patch ironed on Wade’s jean jacket.

“Oh, that one! It’s the pansexual pride flag,” Wade informed, but then furled his eyebrows. “You’re not like, weird about that, right?”

“I- I don’t know what pansexual means,” Peter admitted, looking down as he chewed.

Wade sat back in his chair. “It means I’m sexually attracted to pans. I’m partial to copper, but any material works.”

“Are you serious?” Peter almost choked.

“Of course not! No, it means I like people. Like, you know how if you’re gay, you like the same gender as you, if you’re straight, you like the opposite gender, and if you’re bi, you like a bunch of genders?”

Peter nodded, so Wade continued. “Well, it’s kind of like being bi, except screw all the gender stuff. If I like someone, their gender doesn’t matter to me. Dude, girl, nonbinary, doesn’t matter. I like people. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” Peter said. “That’s cool with me; you’re still Wade Wilson.”

“Damn right I am,” Wade grinned. “Well, congratulations, Mr. Parker, you’ve successfully completed Pansexuality for Dummies 101.”

“I feel so accomplished,” Peter shot back, putting a serious expression on. He would’ve been able to pull it off if Wade hadn’t started laughing, causing him to join in.

The two spent another 30 minutes hanging out and talking. Peter learned that Wade used to live in Canada, until he’d been adopted by “Blind Al” (apparently, that part of what Ned had told him had been true), he didn’t know what he wanted to do after he graduated high school this year, but he was going to Midtown School of Science and Technology since that would “impress any Big League Schools” if he decided to attend any, and… that was about it. Wade apparently liked hearing about Peter more than talking about himself.

“I’m a very private person,” Wade joked. “I only open up to those I trust the most.”

“You’re opening up to me,” Peter replied, matching Wade’s tone.

“Maybe I trust you.” Wade’s tone was slightly less joking, and an awkward silence passed between the two.

“Oh, look at the time!” Wade suddenly cried, looking down at his bare wrist. “I have to get somewhere. This was really fun, Petey. Thanks for hanging out.”

“Hey, Wade,” Peter started as Wade scrambled up.

Wade looked down at him. “Yes?”

“When we go back to school, do you wanna sit with me, Ned, and MJ at lunch?” Peter offered.

Wade froze for a moment.

“Wade?” Peter asked. He couldn’t read the expression on his face. Confusion? Fear? What was it?

Wade snapped out of it. “Yeah, that’d be great,” he replied. “I’ll need you to show me though; I usually go hide in the library during lunch.”

“Cool. Have a good break!” Peter called as Wade walked out.

As Peter watched him leave, he smiled.  _ ‘Dude wasn’t so bad after all,’ _ he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you so much for reading. I don't have anything else up on this account yet except for a poem I wrote about my stuffed animal for school (she's very dear to me okay), but here's kinda my plan in case you want to read more by me:
> 
> Marvel stuff: So I kinda got carried away with this version of MCU I made with Wade being a teenager and Peter going to school with him, so I started writing a kind-of sequel? Basically if someone came across the sequel without reading this, it wouldn't be necessary to read this fic first but the sequel is a continuation of this one. All I'll say is that Peter gets to meet Deadpool! That's all I have planned because I'm not as obsessed with Marvel as I used to be, but that might change once Disney starts releasing all the Marvel shows. Unlike this fic, it's not already done so I dunno if I'm gonna finish it before posting on a set schedule or release it as I finish each chapter.
> 
> Non-Marvel stuff: A half-ironic Garfield fic where he learns to cook. Rewrite of a BATIM fic I had posted on my old account called "I Swear" (it's still on this website if you want to read it; I just orphaned it). That's all I have planned so far but it's possible inspiration will strike and I'll start writing more.
> 
> Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it, and to those who don't celebrate it, I hope you have a wonderful day/evening/whatever time it is for you!

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoy (or don't), why not leave a constructive comment? I want to become the best writer I can and hearing people's thoughts helps me achieve that goal! I hope you have a wonderful day!
> 
> I have a Tumblr at https://yorfriendlyneighborhooddumbass.tumblr.com/ so feel free to connect to me there! I mostly reblog memes and art and stuff.
> 
> ~Sky


End file.
